the slacker's guide to successful living: March 2011

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Bedtime Anytime

Introducing: The Vertical Bed - Whoever/Wherever/Whenever

Monday, March 28, 2011

Say it Straight(forward); No Analysis Needed

Thursday, March 24, 2011

How to Impress (without lying)

You are...

An analytical thinker

(You are skilled at comparing and identifying the flaws of your facebook friends from high school)

A lover of animals

(You eat steak at least once a week)

Environmentally conscious

(Last Earth Day you celebrated by taking the day off work)

A wine afficianado

(you could chug the most Franzia out of anyone you knew in college before needing to slap the bag)

Good with kids

(You enjoy Saturday morning cartoons)

Athletically inclined

(last year you walked five miles to the closest gas station when your car broke down)

An avid reader

(you carry a book of Shakespeare's sonnets with you at all times to show off on public transportation)

Well-traveled

(The liquor store is 20 minutes away)

Politically involved

(you have spent many hours thinking of ways to scam the American tax system)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Protecting Your Food at the Office

Start by leaving a friendly note

Add a layer of complexity

Be a master of disguise

If all else fails, remember that fear is the greatest weapon of all

Monday, March 21, 2011

12 Ways to Know If You're a Slacker

1. You don't take classes that restrict the use of a laptop.

2. You spend 45 minutes deciding whether or not to order in food as you know you will have to walk outside to pick it up from the deliveryman.

3. On more than one occassion you have pretended to be a deaf-mute in efforts to avoid small talk.

4. You consider yourself up to date on current events after reading facebook newsfeed.

5. The only foods you eat are wrapped in plastic.

6. The movie "127 hours" was scary to you not because of the amputation, but because the character was made to stand for five days.

7. As a blackberry user, you only communicate with other blackberries as composing messages other than BBM requires too much time/thinking/energy.

8. You are annoyed by people who do not have one syllable names or nicknames.

9. Equinox is a spa, not a gym.

10. You have called down for mainteneance and pretended as if your thermostat was broken so that the repairman would come up and adjust the heat without you having to get off the couch.

11. You have attempted to call a restaurant and place your order ahead so that it is ready for you upon arrival.

12. You believe that true success is defined by the attainment of a handicap parking pass.